Given I've spent the last couple of weeks playing tour guide perfecting the N.G. tour of New York, I figure I should start reviewing some of the places I've been to. These range from the most extortionate and extravagant to the dirtiest 'Titty Twisters' out there.I'm going to start by talking about the most recent of my escapades, the Red Rock West Saloon. If the name doesn't give it away think 'Coyote Ugly' meets 'From Dust Till Dawn'. Although the vampires kept their distance, the moment I saw the boarded up, blacked-out windows coupled with hanging buffalo skulls and crooked neon signs, I knew we were on to something special.To greet us, sitting on a wooden barstool just inside the entrance, was a bandanna-wearing heavily tattooed fat biker dude wearing a sleeveless leather vest. I would have laughed apart from the fact he could have taken me out with his little finger. While he checked our ID I perused the wall of polaroid photos behind him. Crazy bald biker men doing crazy things starred back at me. Hmm this was going to be an interesting night.We grabbed a few beers and got settled at back of the room looking a little out of place. It was still pretty early and wasn't too crowded, which gave us some time to take everything in. A pool table lay up the far end of the bar, but nobody seemed that engrossed in the games they were playing. Another fat biker dude sat on a stool in the corner near the toilets, under a neon Budweiser sign, hoeing into a piece of fried chicken. Nice.Strangely, the floors looked really bare - not because they were made of rough untreated wood, but because there were no tables or chairs or anything for that matter. Given this didn't give off the dance club vibe, it seemed slightly odd to have so much empty space. Then it occurred to us that the bar was the focal point of the room. Screw the lonely old pool table. All the decorations, knick knacks, paraphernalia and posters hung behind the bar.Suddenly it struck me that the bartenders were all women and half naked woman at that.Then it all kicked off. One of them grabbed a microphone and screamed in a twangy southern accent:'EVERYONE.... DO YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR DRINKS KICKED IN YOUR FACE?!! GET YOUR DRINKS OFF THE BARRRR!'And the whole place came to life. Barmaids wearing cowboys hats jumped up and started line dancing on the bar. Hula hoops were being swung dangerously low on hips, threatening to take people's heads off. Free shots were being poured down people's throats and men's shirts were being ripped! It was crazy but awesome at the same time. Unfortunately I didn't get any photos or videos (it seemed a little wrong to do so) but here's a clip from Coyote Ugly to give you a flavour of what I mean:
CRAZYYY!
